2 Days At Grandma Wilsons

This is a big late but what can I say I have been busy! We went to my parents on thrusday and friday of last week and had a blast. Pj LOVED playing in grandma's flower beds!

He even has a shirt that shows when he isn't being spoiled enough at home he is going to grandma's
But its Grandpa that spoils him!

Grandpa lets him play with the computer.

And Im sure he could spend hrs on that computer.

Actually mommy was the one that give him the oreo cookie. It was in my lunchable and well I don't like oreo's. But Pj sure did!

What a dirty little boy!

Yep he still walks on his knees. Although he is walking more on his feet. He just needs to figure out how to get up on his own.

Grandma was the one that give him the popcicle (sp?)

And he got it all over himself

But he really did like it!

So we got home on friday night and relaxed. I worked on saturday and sunday. And a double on monday. I won't be doing that again any time soon. Well at least not while I am pregnant. I was so exhausted into tuesday too. But thankfully I have three days off (sort of) to catch up on sleep and rest. Pj and I went to my dr appt yesterday morning. Everything is looking good. I passed my glucose test, so that is way awesome. Im down to my biweekly appts. Thankfully they aren't long cause Pj is a pain. He HATES it when any one touches me. Which makes it pretty hard. Oh well. So I guess my morning computer time is up. Pj is up and probably wanting some breakfast. Thanks mom and dad for letting us come and take over your house for a few days.

To The Man Who Keeps Me Going!

Well I figured that it will be fathers day soon and I wanted to tribute my blog to Jordan till then. Cause he is the bestest. Did you know he got up with Pj last night? Yep he did and last week too! I am soooo very grateful for that because I didn't feel well at all. I was just so exhausted and nasaus (sp?) that I couldn't do it. I got up and rocked him but had to put him back down cause I was feeling so sick. So Jordan got up with him and took him down on the couch and they slept on the couch for about three hrs. I love watching those two sleep. And had I been feeling better I probably would have went down there and watched it. They are so adorable together. I LOVE watching the two of them play too. It is sooo adorable. Pj plays with Jordan in a totally different way than he does with me. I LOVE it.

Sorry Jordan I know you don't like these kinds of posts. My point of this post was to explain my background and header. Its for Fathers Day!

And the father in this house hold LOVES football. And well he has worn off on me cause at least now I like the color red. I mean I have an entire red room in my house and there is a wall in my kitchen that is now red. (I really wanted a red wall, and Jordan was nice enough to paint it for me)

So here is to a HAPPY FATHERS DAY(rrrr month)!

Yummy!

Don't ya just LOVE this stuff. Im really hoping I don't have to drink another one of these for a long time! The test went well. I thought for sure Pj would be going crazy, and sure enough he did. Luckily they had a long hall he could walk up and down (several) times while we waited for the hr to be up. I should have counted but toward the end he just kept falling to the ground so then I let him go in and play with the vending machines. And of course 2 min before we had to be back he decides to make a stinky diaper for me. We were like a min late, no problem. Evrey one loved watching the little monster terrorise the halls. Oh ya and the waiting area is right by the cafeteria! Im starving to say the least hahahaha! I thought for sure this little girl would be bouncing off my uterus with all this suger in me. Nope Im pretty sure she is fast asleep. That is till I lay down for a nap hehehehe~!

Some thoughts on motherhood.

This is just going to be a random thought post today. I had a bunch of them yesterday and really wanted to write them down before I forgot them. Ya that didn't happen so I am hoping I can get some of them back as I reflect on my 15 months of being a mother. Oh and side note time goes by WAY to fast!

So yesterday I was thinking about a time I was asked to talk on mothers day. I really didn't feel as though I was a very good candidate for the job. 1st off I was not a mother (I was a missionary) 2ND I really missed my mother that day. And well I was getting a lot better at talking, but was totally NOT prepared to talk about something I didn't really know a lot about. Sure I had a mother. A very awesome mother and for some reason I had a lot of ladies that wanted to act as my mother since she wasn't there. But that definitely didn't help me with my talk. It was a total of 5 Min's long. And I was the last speaker. And my wonderful companion (I won't mention names hmmm Amy) left me with like 30 Min's. Thankfully the branch president was leaving so that left him with plenty of time to say good bye.

However, unprepared I was back then I think I could say a lot about it now! I'm not saying I'm an expert on being a mother. In fact I wouldn't even claim that I am a very good mother. Nope I wouldn't even talk about what you need to do to be a good mother. That varies per child and family. I would talk about the trials of mother hood. I think I'm pretty good at that. Complaining! Right!?!?

I was brought into a rude awakening of what mothers are all about. No one tells you a lot of things about mothers and how hard it is. I am sure a lot of them are a bit tmi type of things and therefore I won't mention them. Oh wait would that be fair to future mothers though? I mean I really wish there were somethings people would have told me. And you know maybe someone did mention them but you just don't know till you experience it. I never knew our first night home with Pj would be so hard. I didn't know we would be up with him till 6am. Him screaming every time I put him down. (I finally caved and made Jordan go buy a bottle) Yep and then I felt like a horrible mother cause I enjoyed 4 hrs of blissful sleep cause I fed my baby formula. Yep and wouldn't you know it I got criticized for that. I'm sure a lot more than I thought. (You know how people talk.)

I had no idea how funny it would be to watch my son projectile (sp?) poop all over Jordan. I still to this day laugh at it. But didn't find it funny at all when he did the same to me. Or peed all over me. Or vomited all over me. I thought it would end when he stopped with the formula. Nope even now when he gets sick I am his most favorite person to throw up on. Oh and shall we talk about lack of sleep. Jordan will tell you how I get when I don't have enough sleep. I call it crazy, he calls it something far nicer than that. I just can't remember what that is. (Memory loss is another wonderful thing you get from being a mother, I'm convinced it is anyway) So about this sleep thing. You know how they tell you to sleep when baby does. Well they forget to tell you all the feelings that you are having how you just want to hold your baby all the time. And how your mind just doesn't shut off. So sleeping when he does didn't ever really seem like an option. There is the dishes, and laundry, and cleaning, and catching up on all your Internet sites (you know you need time for you right?) And then you are trying to sort out all these feelings! Hmmmmm there are a lot of depressive feelings (ppd, a moms best friend) happy feelings, and some that there just aren't words for.

I think I have complained about motherhood enough. Yep I do know that it is very hard. And that there are women who have it much harder. Just spending two days in the hospital with Pj was a horrible experience. I can't even imagine what other mothers experience. (I'm not asking for that experience either) I'm actually hoping that I have plenty to learn from the normal mother experiences and not have to go into the really hard ones EVER! I admire the women who experience such hard things and have such faith in God. I lack a lot of faith and am hoping that I can work on that more and more everyday.

OK so I didn't really spend all that time thinking about how hard it is to be a mother. I don't really have to think about it I just feel it. That doesn't even make sense I'm sure. I can only say that it is a feeling I get when I think of how hard it is to be a mom. Sometimes I imagine it like it would appear in a movie. Just a flash of memories. I see a clip of each of those moments that I mentioned about in my head. Its a lot better this way. Cause I don't really have those overwhelmed feelings I did about it then. I feel... well feelings just don't have words. But a smile comes over my face. "A smile?" you think. Why on earth would she be smiling. It really sounds like she hated those moments. Actually it really sounded like she hates being a mother. I didn't mention HATE in any of those previous words how on earth could you think that? Oh I guess that is the idea that complaining puts into our heads. I don't hate being a mother at all. I can still remember (not so well, I was a bit, OK a lot groggy) when Jordan (yes Jordan, not a nurse)(OK I'll admit it, I didn't remember that it was Jordan) gave Pj to me after coming to from that wonderful surgery (I call it wonderful cause it gave me something I will cherish always, a scare (sp?), OK OK Parker, it was Parker)OK where was I. Oh yes baby in my arms. I'm sure I would have cried had I not been so out of it. The tears were not there but the feelings were. (Once again, curse this language with no words for feelings.) I remember those "feelings" when I tried my hardest to stay awake when people came to visit. I SOOOOO wanted to be apart of that and hear all the wonderful things they said about my wonderful boy. I remember just wanting to be near him every second of every day. I now realize that isn't possible and I have to let go of my boy way more than I would like (sometimes I will admit laying him down for his nap is the best time of the day, but that doesn't make me a bad mom, right?)

All those feelings of frustration and guilt completely melt away when I see my son smile or laugh. When he gives me a hug, or kiss. When I saw him walk for the first time. When he says momma. When he reaches for me from his crib in the morning or after a nap. When he just wants me. And sadly when I am leaving and he gets a bit sad. (that makes it hard to leave but it makes me feel great) all these things make me feel so loved. Oh and one of my new favorite memories is when he was giving me my mothers day card yesterday. Walking in the dinning room on his knees with this card. (that I'm sure he just wanted to rip to shreds) These may seem like just little things. But they bring emotions to my heart that I will never ever be able to explain. (I'm hoping when we get to heaven we know a language much better than this, that has words to express feelings and emotions) A lot of times they bring tears to my eyes when I think of them. ( I know what Jordan is thinking "Please no more tears!") But rest assured these are tears of joy.

And I like to think that all these hard times as a mother is bringing me closer to God. Maybe not at that moment, cause I'll admit in my head I am saying some bad words (I'm working on that one) But after, when the storm has passed and I have time to reflect on the experience. When I have time to think about what I did well and what I could have done better. Its always when I look back, I see God's hand leading me and guiding me to get through it all. I am much better at laughing and smiling my way through one of Parker's tempter tantrums than I ever have been. You have to admit its a funny thing to watch at times. I am getting more patient when Pj wakes up in the middle of the night. Although it still kills me a little bit to listen to him cry it out. All I want to do is to just love him and rock him till he is asleep. But then I'm no good the next morning. Cause I learned it takes him a lot longer to go back to sleep if I rock him than him crying for 5 min or so. And then he always does it the next night to. Except when I let him cry. The next night almost always goes a lot better. I've learned that when I get frustrated I just need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Maybe even think what can I learn from this? Becoming a mother has helped me to realize how much I need god in my life, and how much he really does support me.

Being a mother is the best thing in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I am looking forward to all the things I will learn, and especially all those kisses and hugs (no matter how slobbery they are). I may not be looking forward to the lack of sleep and the craziness it brings but if that's what I gotta do to have such wonderful people in my life I will do it over and over again. I really do love being a mom!

The Park!

PJ isn't a huge fan of the toys at the park. So we mostly hang out by the pond. But we do take him over to the toys just to see if he has changed his mind about it.

Daddy playing peek a boo with him.
And here we are by the pond. Pj and Daddy being silly as usual!

This one has got to be my favorite one!

This is a pretty good one too.

Daddy has hit him with the brim of his hat. Ooooops

He was walking around on the grass pretty good. To bad we missed the face plant. It would have been the best video ever!

I LOVE the nice weather and to be able to go play at the park with my favorite boys in the world. Pj sleeps even better when we spend lots of time outside too. Hope you all enjoy the pics as much as I do!

15 Month appt!

Weight - 22.4 lbs - 20.82%

Length - 30.5 in - 31.93%

Head - 19in - 80.21%

And its official he HATES nurses! He cries every time the nurse walked into the room. And it was the awesome nurse today too. I almost want to request her when we come in. So as a whole Pj is doing great. The dr made a comment about his poor knees. But its no ones fault but Pj's. He prefers his knees. Although yesterday he walked all the way down the street and back with only falling like 4 times. And he is starting to walk away from furniture. He is a stair monster. He thinks its a game for us to chase him up the stairs. I guess it's time to buy another gate.

Hmmm could this be a belly pic?

Ok so it is. And I learned something! I don't look as big as I feel! Which is a good thing cause I feel HUGE! I just wanted to let you all know I am UNDER 100 days. 98 to be exact. Well that is till Jordans bday. Which is my due date! But she will be born on the 6th of aug! Unless for some reason she isn't! I know things aren't set in stone when it comes to babys. Im just excited to finally be under 100 days left. Pregnancy is NOT my favorite thing and I will be the first to tell you I HATE being pregnant. But I LOVE what comes from it.

Pj has been such a great blessing in Jordan and My's life! I am amazed by our little boy each and every day. and right now my favorite thing to watch him do is walk. Yes he still looks like frankenstien BUT he is starting to just walk away from the furniture rather than holding on for dear life. His NEW thing is to crawl up the stairs when mom and dad aren't looking. I think he likes to be chased up them. And he is going back down like a pro too. Which will help me out huge in three months!

So naturally with having such a great son who wouldn't want to go thru the pain of pregnancy and all that comes with it (RAGING hormones) to have such a sweet thing like Parker!?!?! I can't picture Paisley too well. Ok well everytime I do I end up seeing Pj with long hair. But I am sure she will be beautiful.

I forgot to mention, I NEVER did a belly shot with Pj.